


Grocery Store Foot Sale

by AxelGrey1



Category: US Comedians RPF, cannibalism fantasy - Fandom
Genre: Cannibalism, Foot Fetish, M/M, cook vore, foot heavy cannibalism, foot worship, legalized lite cannibalism, no pain, regen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 12:24:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20258056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AxelGrey1/pseuds/AxelGrey1
Summary: I get first dibs when the local grocery store has its themed sales of celeb feet. It's fun. Images inside to pair with your fantasy fiction!Ch 1. - Comedians (John Mulaney & Andy Samberg)





	Grocery Store Foot Sale

Since the world got a ‘taste’ of regeneration when Jimmy Fallon cut off Chris Pratt’s feet on live TV, having a chef cook them up as he did and the world saw how painlessly the feet grew back…well, the demand for celebrity foot steaks was higher than anyone ever could have imagined. Grocery stores started making contracts with celebs to come to their distribution centers to spend a day chopping off and regrowing their feet in bulk to sell to the masses at a high price. Typically price varied on a celeb’s star meter rating so it was easier to buy a tv star’s feet between seasons of their show or musicians when they hadn’t released an album in a while.

Though there were times like this where stores got a good deal on contracts and did themed sales. Comedian feet often tasted really nice. Genetically tender from standing on stage for hours on end made the meat juicy and had a melt in your mouth texture.

After paying the butcher a nice monthly sum I often was given the upcoming sale and celeb names so I could reserve my preferred cuts. This week was no different. Seeing John Mulaney and Andy Samberg on the list was one thing but the idea that I could get two pairs for the price of one was amazing. I usually could barely afford one pair but now it was gonna be a feast night.

I walked in and headed straight for the butcher the moments the doors opened. Seeing me make a beeline towards him the butcher smirked, holding out a pair of yellow foam trays wrapped in cellophane. A picture of the comedian, their name, and shoe size was in the bottom corner but the pair of feet were the stars. Sitting soles out so I could see the best part.I caressed them through the plastic wrap as I grabbed the rest of the ingredients before paying and speeding to get home in time.

With a nice slap of the heavy packages on my countertop, I poured out the bag for tonight’s meal, grinning as I looked over the two pairs of meaty feet. Cutting open the packages I took out one of each foot before rubbing my face into the arches of them, licking and humming to enjoy my pre-meal. I continued to hold on to John Mulaney’s size eleven and a half, sucking a few toes into my mouth as I needed both hands so the foot hung out of my mouth.

I grabbed my large skillet that had cooked so many feet before, just last week I splurged on Tom Holland’s which were quite sweet. Cast iron skillets really were the way to go. You could just taste the many other feet cooked in it after you cured it but never scrubbed it. Truly made each foot meal better than the previous.

I left the pan to heat up before grabbing Andy’s feet, dipping them in an egg mixture and rolling them in the panko crumbs and other sundries of seasonings. Andy’s meaty low arches would bake up nicely and do great with the crunchy crust on the outside. Not to mention his plump toes…I can only imagine how they’ll just burst with flavor when they get cooked.

I started the oven and in no time got them inside and cooking. I then turned my attention to the stand-up’s feet. Long, slender, a perfect heel I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into. These had to be prepared in a more presenting way. I slit the top of the foot where the skin was soft and shoved seasonings and sprigs rosemary into it before massaging a mix of oil and black salt into the soft arches and paid special attention to the heel which then got injected with a butter-based sauce like a fancy turkey.

After prepping it was over I could already smell Andy Samberg’s feet cooking from the oven. I had to work fast if I wanted them both to be hot and ready at the same time so I grabbed Mulaney’s feet and slowly, toe first, set them into the hot oiled pan. The orgasmic sizzling sound of his feet on the hot iron was truly fantastic. I watched them vibrate a bit side to side as the skin cooked and crisped. While those got done rare I went to the oven and saw Andy’s feet doing well, getting close to the right amount. Gordon Ramsay always said long pork is best served at 120degrees Fahrenheit so I slid the meat thermometer between the big and second toe and saw they were close.I closed the oven and went back to Mulaney’s feet. I lifted them from the heel with tongs to see the nice golden brown color they’d taken on and ran my fingernail across the arch to feel if the skin got crispy enough. Seeing that it did I flipped them onto their sides for a minute then onto the other side before pulling them out of the pan. I quickly plated them, cutting into one of Mulaney’s heels to see the perfect brownish-pink color of the perfectly cooked foot. I then hurried to the oven and dished out Samberg’s feet onto the same large plate with his crunchy coated feet between Mulaney’s grilled and slightly larger pair.

As I ate, and I’m gonna toot my own horn here, the best-cooked feet I’ve tasted I opened my phone to see a text from the butcher…another themed sale coming up… I bit into Samberg’s plump big toe, the sound of panko crust crunching in my mouth as I hummed.

[ txt;Butcher] Next week’s themed sale is Olympians. Ryan Lochte, Adam Rippon, Gus Kentworthy, Michael Phelps, the list went on…athletes had great feet. Like comedians who were tender…athletes had a muscle…a special kind of marbling in the meat…I couldn’t wait.


End file.
